Saturday, April 16, 2011

Farewell

Friday morning my grandfather passed away. He was able to be at home surrounded by family his last few days and our little family had the opportunity to be with him since Tuesday. He fought a hard and ever changing fight these past 6 months. On his last night, I got to watch over him. My Aunt Pam and I took the late shift and held his hands and tried to clear his throat and keep him comfortable. He had been getting gradually worse throughout the day and there were a few times we thought it was the end, but he pulled through. Around 4 am, my Dad woke up to relieve me. I didn't want to leave Grandpa's side but I could barely keep my head up. I gave him a kiss and told him good night, that I loved him, and good-bye. Then I went and laid down. At 4:30 ish, Dad woke us up to say that Grandpa had passed.

While this past week was exhausting and emotional and a roller-coaster to say the least, I am so grateful that I was able to be there with him and to get to help take care of him.

The Hospice case worker brought a book for Jane to help her understand what was going on. It's called, "What Happens When People Die?".
It gave such a simple and spot on description that the book was actually a great help to me. Both the book and the Hospice case worker talked about how birth and death are similar. I had never had that perspective before. It occurred to me, sitting around that last night with family all around chatting, laughing, passing the time, that deaths are a lot like births. Sometimes prolonged and difficult. Family members are all around waiting for your next stage. It is a truly sacred occasion to be there not only when someone enters this world, but also when someone leaves it.

It was interesting to me to look around while I was sitting with Grandpa. His bed was in the living room and as I held his hand and watched him, I looked around at the life he had created. His shelves were lined with books. Hundreds of books. Mostly information
books about plants or animals or “The Joy of Mathematics”. My grandpa did not leave this world empty handed. He took with him knowledge and experience. He took with him an exceptional appreciation for all of God’s creations. He loved to learn. He was an extraordinary Gardner. He will be missed.

Grandpa on his last day outside (Tuesday). The weather was wonderful and the neighbors with the help of their teenagers and their friends had come over and cleaned out the garden beds.
Jane loved to hold Grandpa's hand. She has been praying for him for months. When I found out that he had tumors in his lungs and was being sent home with Hospice, I explained that Great Grandpa was going to die. That night, she prayed: "And please bless that Great Grandpa will go be with Heavenly Father." The night before he passed away she prayed: "Please bless that Great Grandpa can stop coughing" because his lungs were full and he would try to get stuff up but had a hard time.

3 comments:

Mike and Corie said...

Whit, this post is really touching. You have been through a lot this past couple of months and especially this last week. But I think sometimes what matters most in life is being with someone when they need you the most. What a wonderful grand-daughter you are.
I Love you! You are such a great friend, and you have taught me so much.

Amylee said...

What a sweet tribute to your Grandpa and your loving family. I love what you said about how birth and death are similar, and both so sacred.

Good luck this next week. I know it's so hard. I love you and am praying for you.

Erin said...

That picture of Jane and your Grandpa melts my heart. Sweet is the peace the gospel brings!