For whatever reason, today Autumn hit me square in the face. I don't know if it was the smell in the air, the crunch of leaves under my feet, or the way the light hit the ground but I was suddenly aware of the change of season. And with it came a rush of memories. Memories of my most favorite autumns of all--those spent down at SUU. I felt so free. . .so independent. I miss riding my bike to school and taking rides up the canyon to see the beautiful trees. I miss poetry readings at Groovatious. I miss the Bohemian life I led of drama and poetry and finding meaning in everything. It was a passionate life. It was dramatic. It was what I can only describe as home, or the closest thing to it. I felt more myself there than anywhere before. I remember expressing everything in me through the medium of theater and poetry. I will forever cherish the memories of performing in "The Shadowbox". It was there I decided that there was something else for me to do. . .somewhere else to be. I miss the poetry and drama and expression. I miss feeling so a part of something. I miss it running through my veins like electricity. To me there will be nothing comparable to Cedar City in the fall. It holds some of my fondest memories.
This fall is quite different than those in Cedar City. The leaves still crunch and the air is still crisp but I have a very different position in life. Elections are coming up, everyday the economy seems to take a turn for the worse, my darling daughter is learning all sorts of new things, my little brother is home from his mission, my husband is going through the toughest semester yet, and I am struggling with things that I have never before struggled with. I used to hate fall because it meant an end of summer, but today I saw how beautiful is it and how beautiful it has always been. Change is good. Nostalgia is good. And this fall I hope that the nostalgia that I feel will lead me to change. I hope that it will push me to bring poetry back into my life. I miss the color that it brings. I hope that I can stop and appreciate the fall colors and smells and light so that 5 years from now I can stop and remember this fall and how wonderful it was.
Things that remind me of Fall:
* The movie Gardenstate
* Tori Amos music
* JaeLyn's cooking and teaching me how to scrapbook
* meeting Trent
* Hard Rock Cafe
* Sarah McLachlan "Afterglow" album (thanks Amylee for hooking me on this)
**Feel free to add your own in the comment section. . .I'd love to hear what reminds you of fall or what fall reminds you of :)
8 comments:
- Cooler weather.
- Saturdays filled with college football!
Wow Whit, did you ever think about writing a book? I think you would do very well.
Things that come to mind when I think about fall is playing in the leaves after raking them up when I was a kid. I love the vibrant colors of fall.
I always get really nostalgic at every change of season. I love it!
For me, fall reminds me of the years at home. I remember coming home to sweet, strong smell of tomatoes and salsa and grape juice being put up (canned). I remember wearing jackets and new clothes to school and being excited for a new start.
As for wanting to bring poetry back into your life, I can relate. I think motherhood is so busy that for a while you distance yourself from who you really are. You forget some of your talents and the things that you really love to be involved in. Lately I have really been working on being more creative by getting more involved in music and sewing and it is so therapeutic! My house may be messier, but I am so much happier (generally). So, bring back the passion, Whitney!!!
It's funny you should mention poetry. Writing is very cathargic. Just writing down thoughts of my grandma opened up little areas I didn't know I had. Does that make sense? Whit, it doesn't matter where you are or what you are doing, you are still my favorite! You will always be my Danielle!!!
Cedar City does mean fall. Here are my fall memories:
*SUU football games
*Carving pumpkins (and blowing them up)
*Karaoke
*Walking past the stadium at SUU whe the leaves had fallen along the sidewalk by the church.
*Dash Board and John Mayer. (Afterglow as well)
*Chocolate chip cookies and pumpkin pie.
*YOU. So much of my favorite fall reminds me of you (and Erin and Kalie. It all kind of goes hand in hand with those years). I love you Whit. You get me. I can't imagine my life without you in it.
Here's a happy fall thought: Andy's number is 801-494-7548. He does a soul good; he said he misses you.
Oh girl I know how you feel! I miss you my friend. :)
Fall reminds me of college too, which also brings back vivid homesick memories. Love it.
Hmmm, Fall....Cedar is a beautiful place in the fall. I would have to add to the list warm apple pie & cinnamon rolls!!! Jane is ADORABLE and sooooo big! Love ya
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